Burittsu Yuki

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Burittsu Yuki

Post by Burittsu on Wed Nov 01, 2017 4:55 pm

Who are you?

Name: Burittsu Yuki
Age: 15
Birthday: (04/09)
Bloodline: Ice Release
Gender: Male
Sexual preference: heterosexual

What can you do?

Village: Kirigakure
Rank: Academy Student
Element(s): Fuuton and Suiton
Stats:

  • Strength: 0
  • Speed: 0
  • Endurance: 0
  • Perception: 0
  • Chakra: 10

Traits:

Positive Traits:


Name: Reflexes
Type: Positive
Description: Someone with this trait is naturally skilled in reacting to their surroundings, making them difficult to hit and somewhat difficult to keep up with. People with this trait receive a passive +30 to Speed and Perception.


Negative Traits:

Name: Penny Scrapper
Type: Negative
Description: For whatever reason, this person has a hard time putting two pieces of ryo together. Those who have this trait receive 20% less ryo from missions, and items cost 10% more.

Name: Frail
Type: Negative
Description: Someone with this trait is naturally brittle, and has a hard time building up resistances. As such they receive a passive debuff of -50 to their Endurance, and a +20% WC to Endurance training.

What do you look like?

Height: 6'0
Weight: 182
Hair: Dark Blue
Eyes: Dark Blue
General appearance: Burittsu in his early teens is about the height of 5'11 with a brown skin tone and a lean body tone his eyes matched that of his hair dark blue sporting a mask on his face rarely taking it off. He intended to remain mysterious until the time came for him to truly reveal himself to his comrades. Sporting a black sleeveless top and a white cloth casually wrapped around his waist he walked around in the usual shinobi pants and footwear. Walking around on his back wrapping around his chest was a white cord which allowed him to mount any weapon he pleased on his back without the need of him holding on to it. There are days where he simply just walks around with no weapon just the strap. Never walking around with a smile he always appeared to be mad as he stood straight up without slouching always gazing around his surroundings. Ready for anything to strike or occur.
Getting to know you.

Personality: The personality of Burittsu is quite simply indeed he comes out cold at first due to the fact that his goal is to figure out the other person first. So he remains silent and unforgiving if the latter proved to be a threat it would only be the choices that decide the fate of the two shinobi. At times he tends to talk to his "Ice" to him that would be like his conscious the voice in his head. To others it would probably seem like he was crazy. But he himself knew the truth he felt connected and would rather be in the company of the element instead that of actual human beings. Once in every blue moon he would show signs of his kindness to his fellow shinobi to remind them that they are something precious to him. Even if it is something hard for him to do from time to time during this time he finds it easier to show some type of emotion instead of being his usual self. In hopes this would lead others into trusting him a bit more and putting their faith in him eventually at least. By himself he is deprived and always angry scheming away at his plans for the village and the actions to be taken if anyone stood in front of him. He was certain that no one would ever figure out about him and his plans but his plans for the people that did figure out would only involve them in the ground. Other then that when it came to him remaining distant from people it was easy as pie to show that he wasn't interested in any form of interaction at all.

Likes: Burittsu enjoys many things such as Training, Fighting, Studying. On his free time he enjoys meals like Rice and Chicken, Steak, Vegetables. And sometimes he even enjoys long walks and isolation from the world to keep his mind clear and his head cool. He loves the winter the time due to the fact the white blankets of snow cover the land as he would even walk out shirtless to enjoy what nature has to give him.

Dislikes: Bullies, Fish, Traitors, Quitters. Annoying people, Cocky People, Simply Weak People, Lazy People. With a strong dislike for animals due to the fact he see's them as nothing but a problem to be solved if they want to intervene and get in the way of the mission. Being called a freak or just simply treated as a outcast.

Fears/Phobia: Only one fear haunts him the most and that is watching the village and his fellow comrades die in front of him and him being powerless to protect any of them. Making him feel worthless, powerless and most of all weak this is a fear of reality that he thinks of every night.

Ideals/Motivations: The motivations that drive deep down into Burittsu is to make a village were the weak would be eliminated or thrown back in until they grow stronger. As the strong would rise to stand as guards and comrades to serving and protecting the village and its villagers. The outcome of each trial to determine of who is the sheep and who is the wolf never phased him only the fire that burns in his soul to make the strongest village ever. He was once motivated by his parents to become the best he could be no matter what anyone else said about him and his goals he always thrived off of his parents words. He made it clear that his determination would not be stopped and he would one day sit in the seat of the Mizukage ready to lead the village down a path none will ever forget. A path that will send a quake of fear but respect down everyone's way to show that not only power and skill matter but heart does too.

History: Burittsu was born in a village that only knew the cold. As if spring and summer never dared peek its head around the land always avoiding it and moving on the outskirts of this land was surrounded by large tree's and dense ice and snow. To drink actual water they needed to pick up ice blocks and place them over a pot as they melted from the fire dripping into the pot. For a place with only one season it was the home of Burittsu and he enjoyed every second of it. Basically adapted to it since he was mostly exposed to one environment it was indeed in his element using the snow to set traps for the wild beasts in the forest such as wolves and bears. The sun did make an appearance from time to time when it wasn't covered by thick black clouds that always poured out white puffs which only accumulated into large piles of soft white snow on top of the buildings.

His parents were indeed that of fine shinobi in all honesty they were the only shinobi in the village as they vowed to stay and protect the village against any threat that may come it. The mother Riku Yuki a talented woman with a big heart but a quick temper ready to slice out anyone's eye and swallow it whole to teach them a lesson. As for his father a caring soul who was willing to put his life on the line for his family or anyone else for a matter of fact with parents like these Burittsu himself thought he would live a happy life. Until the war came from both sides his village was nothing but a stepping stone for which ever army to gain an advantage over the other. Buildings burned and one by one people died painting the snow in red the art of war was indeed to much for young child to end up understanding but some how he lived through the ordeal hiding in his burning home crouched into a corner. Scared for his life as the building was being burned down with his window open he made the choice to jump out and simply run for as long as his little legs could take him. To scared to simply look back he can only smell toxin in the air that was the smoke from the burning buildings and probably the bodies of the villagers.

Burittsu was only about the age of nine when this all occurred most of his years after that was spent in a orphanage after being found in the wild by wandering villagers. Most would say he was lucky to even live but to him it was a curse knowing that all his friends even his family would never return and all he could blame was the leaders of each army.

Brought up without a home the young Burittsu was brought into an orphanage during the Warring State Period. It wasn't a surprise when the male never was able to find a suitable home that he can call his home unlike the other young children. Living in a fosters home with the other war orphans it seemed like a fitting life for one subjected to losing his family in the art of war. It was indeed tough times as he grew up in the orphanage dealing with other children who cried everyday and night about their parents knowing well that they would never return. It almost seemed as if this was a sentence made by the devil himself for a house full of orphans to sit in and constantly be on their best behavior. For the hopes of one day finding a home that would be suitable to hold them in.

Face claim:Aomine Daiki Anime: Kuroko No Basketball











 

  


Last edited by Burittsu on Thu Nov 09, 2017 12:57 pm; edited 3 times in total
avatar
Burittsu

Posts : 12

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Burittsu Yuki

Post by Aka on Wed Nov 08, 2017 11:31 am

First, at the top of your app, please post an image of your face claim, as that is one of the required parts of an app. If you're unsure of the code for doing so, it can be found in the character rules section.

Bloodline: You've made a mistake on the coding. The link to the bloodline is supposed to go inside of the first bracket, to replace what says "LINK", while the name of the bloodline (in this case Ice Release) goes within the two [spoiler] codes.

Traits: Either remove 2 positive traits, or add 2 more negative traits, as you must have a negative trait for every positive trait, and the Frail negative trait is an unbalanced clan drawback.

General Appearance: You're short 18 words here. If you're stuck on what to describe, perhaps detail how he upholds himself in regards to facial expression and posture.

Personality: You're 92 words short on this, so, please go into further detail.

Likes: You're 7 words short here.

Ideals/ Motivations: You're 69 words short here.

History: While you've got the words correct on this, I'd like some things clarified. Within the first paragraph, you describe him as being born in the "shinobi war". I'm assuming you mean the Warring States Period? Furthermore, if your character is 18, he would have spent a fair few years without being within a village, as Kirigakure was only formed 9 years ago as of the start of Mythos' lore.

You go on to describe these abilities that Burritsu has: Please remove them, as it's not something your character will start with, and if you want them as abilities you will need to apply for them as if they were jutsu. I imagine you'll be short the word requirement at that point, so, perhaps fill out more about his history; where he comes from, who his parents were, and such. If you're stuck feel free to ask for help.

Apologies for the long reply, and thank you for your patience!

______________________________

avatar
Aka

Posts : 110

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Burittsu Yuki

Post by Kyoshi on Wed Nov 08, 2017 5:00 pm

So a couple things:

You say Buri is in his early teens in his appearance, but you say his age is 18. By definition, that is late teens. Clear this up please.

Personality is 56 words short (194/250)

In your history you still mention the "great shinobi war." Like Aka said, I assume you mean the Warring States Period. Please make that clear, since nothing called "the great shinobi war" has ever happened.

You mention a special talent in the first paragraph of your history. Is that Ice Release? Because you have not unlocked that yet. If you mean something else, please clarify.

As a side note, I can see where you added on the things that Aka mentioned, which is great. But it makes your history conflict with itself since in the beginning you talk about spending much of your life in an orphanage,and then later you say you were with your family until you were 9. Take some time to reorganize this and make sure it all makes sense.

Thanks

______________________________

avatar
Kyoshi

Posts : 182

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Burittsu Yuki

Post by Kyoshi on Thu Nov 09, 2017 1:08 pm

Burittsu wrote:
Who are you?

Name: Burittsu Yuki
Age: 15
Birthday: (04/09)
Bloodline: Ice Release
Gender: Male
Sexual preference: heterosexual

What can you do?

Village: Kirigakure
Rank: Academy Student
Element(s): Fuuton and Suiton
Stats:

  • Strength: 0
  • Speed: 0
  • Endurance: 0
  • Perception: 0
  • Chakra: 10

Traits:

Positive Traits:


Name: Reflexes
Type: Positive
Description: Someone with this trait is naturally skilled in reacting to their surroundings, making them difficult to hit and somewhat difficult to keep up with. People with this trait receive a passive +30 to Speed and Perception.


Negative Traits:

Name: Penny Scrapper
Type: Negative
Description: For whatever reason, this person has a hard time putting two pieces of ryo together. Those who have this trait receive 20% less ryo from missions, and items cost 10% more.

Name: Frail
Type: Negative
Description: Someone with this trait is naturally brittle, and has a hard time building up resistances. As such they receive a passive debuff of -50 to their Endurance, and a +20% WC to Endurance training.

What do you look like?

Height: 6'0
Weight: 182
Hair: Dark Blue
Eyes: Dark Blue
General appearance: Burittsu in his early teens is about the height of 5'11 with a brown skin tone and a lean body tone his eyes matched that of his hair dark blue sporting a mask on his face rarely taking it off. He intended to remain mysterious until the time came for him to truly reveal himself to his comrades. Sporting a black sleeveless top and a white cloth casually wrapped around his waist he walked around in the usual shinobi pants and footwear. Walking around on his back wrapping around his chest was a white cord which allowed him to mount any weapon he pleased on his back without the need of him holding on to it. There are days where he simply just walks around with no weapon just the strap. Never walking around with a smile he always appeared to be mad as he stood straight up without slouching always gazing around his surroundings. Ready for anything to strike or occur.
Getting to know you.

Personality: The personality of Burittsu is quite simply indeed he comes out cold at first due to the fact that his goal is to figure out the other person first. So he remains silent and unforgiving if the latter proved to be a threat it would only be the choices that decide the fate of the two shinobi. At times he tends to talk to his "Ice" to him that would be like his conscious the voice in his head. To others it would probably seem like he was crazy. But he himself knew the truth he felt connected and would rather be in the company of the element instead that of actual human beings. Once in every blue moon he would show signs of his kindness to his fellow shinobi to remind them that they are something precious to him. Even if it is something hard for him to do from time to time during this time he finds it easier to show some type of emotion instead of being his usual self. In hopes this would lead others into trusting him a bit more and putting their faith in him eventually at least. By himself he is deprived and always angry scheming away at his plans for the village and the actions to be taken if anyone stood in front of him. He was certain that no one would ever figure out about him and his plans but his plans for the people that did figure out would only involve them in the ground. Other then that when it came to him remaining distant from people it was easy as pie to show that he wasn't interested in any form of interaction at all.

Likes: Burittsu enjoys many things such as Training, Fighting, Studying. On his free time he enjoys meals like Rice and Chicken, Steak, Vegetables. And sometimes he even enjoys long walks and isolation from the world to keep his mind clear and his head cool. He loves the winter the time due to the fact the white blankets of snow cover the land as he would even walk out shirtless to enjoy what nature has to give him.

Dislikes: Bullies, Fish, Traitors, Quitters. Annoying people, Cocky People, Simply Weak People, Lazy People. With a strong dislike for animals due to the fact he see's them as nothing but a problem to be solved if they want to intervene and get in the way of the mission. Being called a freak or just simply treated as a outcast.

Fears/Phobia: Only one fear haunts him the most and that is watching the village and his fellow comrades die in front of him and him being powerless to protect any of them. Making him feel worthless, powerless and most of all weak this is a fear of reality that he thinks of every night.

Ideals/Motivations: The motivations that drive deep down into Burittsu is to make a village were the weak would be eliminated or thrown back in until they grow stronger. As the strong would rise to stand as guards and comrades to serving and protecting the village and its villagers. The outcome of each trial to determine of who is the sheep and who is the wolf never phased him only the fire that burns in his soul to make the strongest village ever. He was once motivated by his parents to become the best he could be no matter what anyone else said about him and his goals he always thrived off of his parents words. He made it clear that his determination would not be stopped and he would one day sit in the seat of the Mizukage ready to lead the village down a path none will ever forget. A path that will send a quake of fear but respect down everyone's way to show that not only power and skill matter but heart does too.

History: Burittsu was born in a village that only knew the cold. As if spring and summer never dared peek its head around the land always avoiding it and moving on the outskirts of this land was surrounded by large tree's and dense ice and snow. To drink actual water they needed to pick up ice blocks and place them over a pot as they melted from the fire dripping into the pot. For a place with only one season it was the home of Burittsu and he enjoyed every second of it. Basically adapted to it since he was mostly exposed to one environment it was indeed in his element using the snow to set traps for the wild beasts in the forest such as wolves and bears. The sun did make an appearance from time to time when it wasn't covered by thick black clouds that always poured out white puffs which only accumulated into large piles of soft white snow on top of the buildings.

His parents were indeed that of fine shinobi in all honesty they were the only shinobi in the village as they vowed to stay and protect the village against any threat that may come it. The mother Riku Yuki a talented woman with a big heart but a quick temper ready to slice out anyone's eye and swallow it whole to teach them a lesson. As for his father a caring soul who was willing to put his life on the line for his family or anyone else for a matter of fact with parents like these Burittsu himself thought he would live a happy life. Until the war came from both sides his village was nothing but a stepping stone for which ever army to gain an advantage over the other. Buildings burned and one by one people died painting the snow in red the art of war was indeed to much for young child to end up understanding but some how he lived through the ordeal hiding in his burning home crouched into a corner. Scared for his life as the building was being burned down with his window open he made the choice to jump out and simply run for as long as his little legs could take him. To scared to simply look back he can only smell toxin in the air that was the smoke from the burning buildings and probably the bodies of the villagers.

Burittsu was only about the age of nine when this all occurred most of his years after that was spent in a orphanage after being found in the wild by wandering villagers. Most would say he was lucky to even live but to him it was a curse knowing that all his friends even his family would never return and all he could blame was the leaders of each army.

Brought up without a home the young Burittsu was brought into an orphanage during the Warring State Period. It wasn't a surprise when the male never was able to find a suitable home that he can call his home unlike the other young children. Living in a fosters home with the other war orphans it seemed like a fitting life for one subjected to losing his family in the art of war. It was indeed tough times as he grew up in the orphanage dealing with other children who cried everyday and night about their parents knowing well that they would never return. It almost seemed as if this was a sentence made by the devil himself for a house full of orphans to sit in and constantly be on their best behavior. For the hopes of one day finding a home that would be suitable to hold them in.

Face claim:Aomine Daiki Anime: Kuroko No Basketball


______________________________

avatar
Kyoshi

Posts : 182

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Burittsu Yuki

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum